Crazy situation?
Ok heres a very complicating situation. I’m a 27 yr old mother..to a 9 yr old. Have been living common law with my 42 yr old bf…who is my sons father. We own a home together..and due to many financial problems..I had to claim bankruptcy a few months ago.
Now this relationship has just gone from worse to worst…and I’m thinking leaving is the best option..for everyone involved. We dont get along anymore..and I just think its time to move on. He is very verbally abusive.and I dont want to raise my son around that negativity any longer.
How would this work considering all these obstacles I’m currrently working out. Could I lose my portion of the home because of my bankruptcy?
October 24th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
You should talk to a good attorney.
October 26th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
depends if your name is on it, if it is all in his name, it would be saved, but he would have to be the bigger man to give you half..
October 28th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
You should go talk to a lawyer. If you file first, he has to leave the home and you are more in control. Go talk to a lawyer before you do anything.
October 30th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
common law ? hhhmmm we dont do that in Ohio anymore. If you arent married …you dont deserve half of anything. keep whats yours and bale while you can . Verbal abuse leaves permanent scars
October 31st, 2008 at 9:17 am
You can call legal aid and they will appoint you to an attorney, and then you could get a free consultation and they will guide you to do what is best for you and that situation. It also depends on which chapter of bankruptcy you filed as far as the house goes.
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:57 pm
I am so sorry to hear that things are not working out for you. being in a similar situation (married to a man 22 years older, i have a 11 year old son, and we almost lost our house) I can sure sympathize. My husband was abusive. I left. He sought councelling and it worked out. thank god. we’ve been married almost 20 years and I think we’re at the point we can handle just about anything.
As for the bankruptcy, the trustee should have gone over what you would be allowed to keep and what you would have to sell. either way, if you divorce him, the house will have to be sold and divided up.
Would your bf consider going to marriage councelling for the sake of the son? It would be worth considering. It sounds like the financial stress has brought on his abusive behavior, and he doesn’t know any other way of dealing with it.
November 5th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
i am afraid you might lose it if you claimed bankruptcy but what is important is that you leave if you are abused in any way. i am a single parent as well and know how scary this can be (we live alone) but anything is worth it to keep your son from thinking this is “normal.” let go & let God. i am not religious but this phrase has helped me alot. good luck girlfreind-you & your child deserve happiness!!!
November 7th, 2008 at 4:38 am
only seeking legal advice for answers such as this
November 10th, 2008 at 1:21 am
First get some free legal advise but please start moving you and your son out of there. I think he can be held accountable for verbal abuse. Abuse is abuse. Contact the police and get help. Just do it fast.
November 11th, 2008 at 3:29 am
You do need to talk with an attorney. It is according to whether the home is in both your names or not. If it is in both your names and you didn’t file on the home you should be alight. Still consult a lawyer to be sure.
November 12th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
divorce attorney, and i dont know nothing about bankrupcy or house buying. The relationship does not sound healthy for neither one of you.
November 13th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Ok… I’ve been happily married for 15 yrs. We married because “it was the right thing to do”. I met him in a bar! We dated for 2 weeks. He moved in and in 3 months I was pregnant!!! I know, worst case scenario. However, when I missed 2 periods, I asked him to bring me to the Drs to find out. While we were there I told him that I wasn’t one of those girls trying to trap him and that if I were pregnant and he wasn’t ready to be a father, then it was his queue to leave. Well, I was and he looked me in the eyes and told me he’d stay. We didn’t even have much time to “fall in love”. We didn’t have much of a courtship. There have been MANY times that I thought we weren’t in love. I always have thoughts about the grass on the other side. MOst of the time I realize that it is pretty green over here. There have been MANY times that I thought we were just sticking it out strictly for our son. We are total opposites too! I smoked Marlboro red, he smoked menthol… (we quit 6 yrs ago) I was into heavy metal, he liked dance music, I have been very artsy and rustic style, him more technical and modern. I was an only child, he has 6 brothers and 4 sisters (all same mom & dad).
He IS a Godsend though. We’ve been up & down that long road of marriage. It IS an institution, but that is the bond that enforces us to keep on keeping on. People don’t stay married any more because it is so widely accepted and easy to do – but- if you can at all stick it out it really has it’s benefits. I could never imagine having to start over. I am so happy that I have invested all this time with one person. YOu have your good years and your bad years. You change together for the better and sometimes for the worse and then back again. The point is you do it together and you grow and learn each other and experience the different faces of love. Sometimes your not hot & passionate for a long long time. We were like something out of the movies with our passion and now, we hardly even touch each other. When we do, it’s totally worth it and it makes up for the absence! The way to fix this is to NOT THINK SO MUCH! Just live each day as it comes to you as a new canvas to paint on. With my life story here to tell you, my bottom line is: Just keep on keeping on and you wont have to worry about legal court issues with the house.
Best wishes, Renee’
November 16th, 2008 at 8:17 am
Both names are on the deed? Then your half is your half. I don’t think the bankruptcy has anything to do with that but I don’t know for sure. You should contact legal aid.
November 18th, 2008 at 10:14 am
Hi, Common -law relationships and the laws that surround them vary from each province.
The just of the house is – If its in both your names you can either buy out his half of the mortgage or he can buy out yours OR sell the house and split the profit.
It works something like this
If the house was worth 200000 and there is 150000 left on the mortgage the you pay him 25000 (or Visa versa) AND go and get the mortgage put into your name (re-finance) If you sell then anything above and beyond paying off the mortgage you split 1/2 and 1/2. Now having a child with the fellow allows for child support. BUT remember to Google Common-Law separations in your province for better and more accurate info. Could include -unjust enrichment’s and pension splittings. These are only opinions based on what I’m looking into for a Lady I know but she is in Ontario which differs from each province.